I’m Sorry When I Disappoint

I had an email exchange with a fan recently. They requested a sequel to a story that might have an interesting second chapter out there, but at this point I don’t have anything in my head for it, so I declined. The fan was gracious about it, but I could feel the disappointment in their email.

I feel bad whenever I disappoint a fan. I wish that I could find that one screw, that one that drives each and every one of you absolutely over the edge each time, every time, and then tighten it down until just looking at your computer and thinking about my story for you makes your pulse quicken. But let’s face it, I have to paint with a much broader stroke. 

For me to get started painting with my words at all, I have to have something in my head and I don’t always have that. There are several series on Literotica that I would like to finish, but those endings have not come to mind yet (All though I’m getting close to something for Helen and Jim.) and I sure as heck don’t want to ‘Game of Thrones’ the endings.

All this is meant to give a little context to ‘I’m sorry’. I’m sorry when I disappoint even one fan. Please forgive me and rest assured, I’m still looking for your perfect screw. Pun intended.

Your Humble Author,

R.U. Wild

Tgirl Erotica, Submissive Male’s Fairytale?

















Is T-girl erotica the submissive male’s fairytale? I think it might be and if it is then I’m as guilty as anyone. But let’s stop for a second and let me explain where I’m coming from. I have heard over the years that fairytales give girls an unreasonable expectation about romance and relationships. Disney being a big culprit to that end with all those fairytale princesses finding their prince and living happily ever after. It’s all sunshine, rainbows, fuzzy bunnies and unicorns. Those of you who have taken a ride of any duration on the relationship merry-go-round know the truth. 

What I want to talk about is the sub guy like me who reads dominant t-girl erotica and dreams of being with a girl just like the lead character. She’s strong, dominant, hung like a stallion and wants to spend her every waking moment buried within your body. These t-girls are becoming more and more prevalent in all forms of trans erotica both written and filmed. I guess that shows how many people out there find that type of t-girl attractive. 

The law of averages says there is a chance she exists, but it’s not a big one. So all of us writers who spin tales of these t-girls are giving you the expectation that when you find her she is going to be this perfect girl of your dreams. She will take you and make you into her slave, just like you’ve always dreamed, or at least take you and have her way with you. Since these girls are so rare is it bad that I write stories that give you this expectation? Probably. But let’s face it. If we wanted to live in reality about 90% of all the books and movies out there wouldn’t sell. We humans need to dream. We need to strive for things that can seem impossible, because sometimes we find out that they were only highly improbable. 

All that being said, I don’t want you to think for a minute that I’m going to change my evil ways and start writing about realistic relationships. Nope, I’m going to play Iron Butterfly’s ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’ on your submissive guitar strings till you explode. My t-girls will push you to the ground and take what they want from you and you will love it! I’m only pointing this all out so that if you are ever lucky enough to enter into a relationship with beautiful t-woman you can dial it back a few notches and approach her with zero expectations. Then if things go well….show her a few of my stories with a hopeful look on your face. 

Lame Ass Porn

I’ve got a problem with porn and I’m not talking about my addiction. My problem is the amount of lame ass porn we generally have to suffer through to get to those golden nuggets of explosive hotness. I’m focusing on the shemale/tranny/ladyboy/tgirl on male stuff because that is what I spend most of my time watching, but this rant could easily cover any form of porn.

I do a search for shemale on male and a list of clips pop up. There on my screen are a number of thumbnails with a hot girl in the right position to fulfill my fantasy of the moment. I eagerly choose one only to be rewarded with cute tgirl who is barely hard enough to stay in the guy she is topping. She is trying to hide how bored she is by making painfully fake seductive faces at the camera and grabbing her partner’s cock for some half-hearted jacking. A heavy sigh from me and it’s back to the list. I get it. It’s not your thing and someone has pressured you into it, most likely for money. But it’s called acting for a reason. Just like a good actress can cry for the camera during a dramatic scene an adult entertainer should be able to act passionate, dominant, or whatever the scene calls for to make it believable. Better yet, if it’s not your type of scene, skip it. Sure, it’s easy for me to sit here and type that when I don’t have to make your car or rent payment, but then it circles back to my original stance; bring on the acting and leave the lame stuff behind!

Lest you think I’m only picking on the girls I want to go on record that the guys are even worse! Laying there like a bump on a log many of them hardly touch the girl that’s working them over! Many are quiet with an occasional moan or groan and little else. It’s like they are thinking about taking out the garbage instead of focusing on the hot chick screwing them. She’s got nipples too! Show them some love! Give that poor girl who’s struggling to get into the scene some passion to work with and maybe, just maybe, you’ll both find the chemistry that makes the scene pop!

So does this all come back to the producers, directors, and companies making it all? Are they simply trying to crank out content they can charge for? Is any scene where a dick is sliding in and out of a hole acceptable? I guess it is when we pay for it, but if we don’t pay for it where the heck are we going to get our fix? I used to buy movies to get my jollies and that was the most frustrating of all. Paying $40 for the privilege to wade through a couple of hours of scenes for a few minutes of the good stuff! And the dialogue is atrocious, but that is a whole different rant.

Whew. Now that I have that out of my system let me be the first to say that not all shemale on male porn is lame. There are some actresses out there that can melt the computer screen. Jessi Dubai, Yasmin Lee, and Eva Lin pop right off the top of my head and there are many others who I’ve watched and enjoyed. I can’t tell you the name of a single guy that really brings it. Maybe that’s my shallowness and not the failing of the actor though, because I’ve watched some very erotic couples on TS Seduction and they were really bringing it.

Nobody gives a two hoots in a holler about what I think and I know it. But every now and then I just need to vent.

I Get Off

‘I Get Off’ is the title of a Halestorm song I was recently enjoying. The lyrics have a slightly more voyeuristic spin than what is going through my head, but it still fits. If you are unfamiliar with the song, lead singer Lzzy Hale is singing about getting off on a peeping tom watching her through a window and getting off on her. Dirty and delicious.

Those of you who have read my stories know that eye contact and the emotional connection that comes with it plays a big part in my erotica. Looking into her eyes and seeing her lust for me is a sure fire way to send me over the top. I don’t know if that is a submissive thing or just a general human thing, but it is definitely a me thing. And I believe it works for lots of other humans. The singer Jem has a song called ‘Come On Closer’ that has these lyrics in it:

“Gonna take it slow babe, do it my way, keep your eyes on me. Your reaction, to my action, is what I want to see.”

Yep. That is spot on. But then why wouldn’t that get someone off? Seeing that hot girl, T or otherwise, panting with desire, riding a wave of sexual euphoria that you are creating would positively set your ego on fire! You are making this other human feel good, really good, orgasmic good and at that point in time you are all they are focused on in the entire world. Yea baby, keep your eye on me.

This stuff is my kryptonite. It will swallow me up and drown me. Sure I would prefer to be madly in love with the person I’m making this connection with, but the dirty little truth is that if we’re clicking at this level, it’s not 100% necessary. Look into my eyes, release your lust, and together we will ride the stormy seas of sexual gratification until that last Tsunami heaves us gasping onto land. Come on baby, I get off on you.

T-girl relationships. How’s this supposed to work?

I’m struggling a little bit here and not with writer’s block. Just with this whole scene in general. It’s a little goofed up. So many of us submissive guys who are crazy about tgirls want them to top us and the really hot ones just want to be girls and be topped by guys who probably would just as soon be topping a cis-girl. Now tell me that’s not a recipe for general unhappiness all around!

Sure there are some exceptions to this rule, as there are in all situations, but not many. I believe my muse and general all round hot blonde Foxy Angel is a top that likes being a top. If she bottoms for a boyfriend I’ve never witnessed it in a picture or video.

Things are changing pretty fast and in the future there might be more men comfortable with a really hot girl no matter what her equipment may be. That would help out the new girls and make it easier for them to find acceptance and dates. But what about guys like me?

I understand how if you are wanting to become a girl you would want to distance yourself from all things male. And that especially includes the penis that most separates you from your desired state of being and everything that comes with it. That is the physical aspect and as a species we definitely judge a book by the cover so the cover has to look and feel like a female. This all makes complete sense and let me say that I really appreciate all the hard work you ladies put into the cover art!

Some subs are pretty zealous, looking more for a mistress than a girlfriend who can top them and I can see where that would be a turnoff, but I’d wager there are fair number of men who want an equal in life and a top (or equal) in the bedroom. If you know what you want to become please don’t take this as me trying to sway you. That’s not what I’m trying to do. However, if you’re a t-girl who is not sure about going all the way, I want to encourage you that there are guys out here who are thrilled with you being the ‘third’ sex. Embrace what you are now and wrap it in a thick layer of confidence, because your confidence is what really gets us guys or girls turned on!  I don’t give two hoots in hell what’s between your legs, if you’ve got confidence in your eyes and actions. Sexy will ooze from your pores and that confidence will be the chariot that takes any girl from meh to sexy quicker than the new Dodge Demon will get you a speeding ticket.

Guys, if you want to help these incredible ladies find that confidence you have to do your part too. Treat them as the beautiful women they appear to be and then embrace whatever other treasures they may have to share with you. If we all work together we can create an environment free of guilt and judgement. Then when boy meets girl, they both part with a big smile on their faces.


Am I Straight or Gay?

According to my own test I’m straight with an open mind. Go figure. But then some people would accuse me of setting up the test to fit what I think I am. Can’t blame them for that and from their side of street I would probably say the same. But give me a few lines to explain.

While looking at some pictures of a female to male transgender I tried to imagine what it would be like to make love to that person knowing full well that they are genetically female. What I’m supposed to like as a male to keep the old human race going and all. If I’m honest, I don’t think I could do it. Maybe that makes me superficial, beauty being only skin deep and all that stuff, but I identify that person as a male and the thought of being intimate with them is anything but erotic for me. In my life I have seen several men that I thought were incredibly handsome or beautiful depending on your favorite adjective, however, I’ve have yet to see or meet one that I was sexually attracted to. None that I’ve wanted to kiss.

In my mind I think this proves that I’m at least mostly straight, or maybe I’m straight confused. Who knows? I put together that test for fun and to provoke some thought. I figured there might be others out there who wonder where they fall out on the straight vs gay scale. In truth, I hope the test tells you that maybe you shouldn’t worry about it at all. Like what you like and go out and enjoy it. If you like males, go get you one, females, sure why not. Girls with something extra or guys with something missing, if it stokes your fire enjoy it.

Life is short and pleasures can be fleeting. Embrace what you like and go out there and get it!

Are You Straight or Gay? Take my test!

In the T-Girl world straight can be thrown out there as a verification test. A T-Girl that can stir a straight guy into a sexual froth, well now that proves that she’s got it going on! She’s not just passable, she’s hot, sexy and all those other adjectives that are laid up around a pretty girl. She has passed the ultimate test.

But hold on a minute, how can a guy be straight and get all turned on about a girl with a penis? Isn’t that whole penis thing gay? Sure you touch your own, but touching someone else’s? Now that’s crazy talk!

As I was discussing in an earlier post there are tests out there for everything. Even helping you figure out what your favorite type of dress sock is. Personally, I like the ones that don’t slide down. In an effort to clear up this ‘straight vs gay’ thing I have developed a little test of my own. So let’s get right to it.

View the picture below for a moment. I’ll wait….

Ok…I didn’t think it’d take you that long. Now, answer the following questions honestly. Do you find this person sexually attractive? If by some miracle you were to get the green light would you ‘do’ this person? Feel free to write your answers down or just remember them. We’ll discuss them at the end of the test.

Again, please view the following picture.

Do you find this person sexually attractive? Would you have sex with them given the opportunity? I bet you already see where this test is going.

Next picture.

Things are a little different now. This person may have some qualities you find sexually attractive and one quality that is not attractive. Now your answers might not be as definite. Consider your answers to the same questions as before and be honest. Even if the answer is ‘maybe’.

Last picture. You know the drill.

Whoa. Is this one is the real mind bender? Do you find this person sexually attractive? Would you have sexual relations with this person given the opportunity?

It is said that we eat with our eyes first. The attractiveness of the plated food draws us in and sets our expectations for the meal. Here are four attractive meals with two of them possessing some exotic flavors. Perhaps too exotic for some tastes.

Now lets break down your answers.

Yes, no, no, no. You are probably arrow straight.

Yes, no, maybe/yes, no. You’re straight with an open mind, but not too open.

Yes, no, no, yes. You are biologically straight. Female DNA only please.

No, yes, yes, no. You’re biologically homosexual. Is that even a thing?

No, yes, no, yes. You like guys and you’re not too picky about the equipment.

No, no, yes, no or no, no, no yes. You’re very specific about your sex partners you delicious little kinkster you!

Yes, yes, yes, yes. You love sex and congratulations! You have the best chances to get ya some out of all of the rest of us!

No, no, no, no. What the heck are you even doing on this site?

So after this exhausting test what have your learned for certain? I like dress socks that don’t slide down. But maybe I also got you thinking about straight vs gay in a different light. Next time I’ll talk about my answers to this test.

Shemales: Not Just for Domination?

I’ve been thinking about that test I took awhile ago that said I’m an Alpha male. Granted, I don’t believe that an online test is the end all, be all of determining your dominance level. After all there are tests out there that will tell you what type of dog you would be, who’s the friend you’re most likely to end up in a jail cell with and what Disney princess you would be and no, I haven’t taken any of those. Even I have limits.

On this blog and in most of my stories I focus the male being submissive, but I could certainly top the right T-Girl. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still more submissive than dominant, but a big part of my submissiveness is about pleasuring the woman I’m with. If I’m shoving her up against the wall and we’re passionately going at it and she’s digging it, like reeeeealy digging it, then it would be ‘All aboard! This train is leaving the station!’.

Take the lovely lady above. If you were lucky enough to be making out with Ana and she was passionately returning your attentions while murmuring how much she wanted you inside her, well I’m pretty darn sure I would rise to the occasion. A big part of the sub thing, at least for me, is to be wanted by someone so badly they are aggressive and instant about what they want. Because of that I still find femdom interesting. Not as titliating as these beautiful and delicious T-Girls, but pretty darn exciting if the woman is really into it and not just playing a part.

Dominance and submission comes in many different shades of gray. (I bet you see what I did there) I don’t know if I will ever discuss it all here and you’ll be happy to know that is not my intention. After all, I only have my own experiences to draw from and when it comes to D/s sex, I’m well read, but hardly worldly.

I guess we’ll explore it some together and we’ll talk about my stories and we’ll have fun with some captions along the way. If you want to share your experiences and wisdom with me I’d be happy to listen.

An Alpha Male and Subission

I’ve been reading some Omegaverse fan fiction lately. That whole universe is based on humans who have wolf/dog pack characteristics that are Alpha/Beta/Omega. In this universe sex is a little different. Out side of the ‘normal’ biology you have Omega males who can get pregnant by either another male or an Alpha female. That whole Alpha female on Omega male thing is quite intriguing to me and at some point I may take a stab at that in their universe, but I digress. That is a long lead in to explain why I was interested enough to take an on line test last week to determine if I’m Alpha, Beta or Omega. I expected to come out a Beta, but much to my surprise, according to the test, I’m an Alpha.

If that’s the case, why the heck am I so darn sexually submissive?! That answer is out there on the internet and I’m not going to go into all the psychology of it here. Instead, I’d like to explore it a little from my point of view.

In my every day life I’m not some CEO or any one of  the other high powered positions that come to mind when you think ‘Alpha male’. However, I am a manager of sorts with a significant amount of responsibility that requires me to wear my Alpha hat. In the rest of my life I generally try to resist taking on any more responsibility or telling others what to do. I won’t let people push me around, but at the same time I’m not aggressive. But I’m not even sure if any of that plays into my submissiveness. I’m a very partner focused person and I like to make people happy. When the person I’m in bed with is getting off on what I’m doing…well that’s what gets me off. If she does that and acts like she really wants me, won’t take no for an answer type of wants me, I’m putty in her hands.

So I guess this isn’t the in depth expose’ I was thinking it might be. Maybe I’m really just that simple. If you want me and really let me know that you’ve got to have me, I’m probably yours. And yours and yours and yours too. Good thing for my current relationship that no one ever try’s to take me like that or I’d be in deep trouble.

Submission isn’t the same for everyone and my version is very vanilla with maybe some chocolate syrup and a few nuts. No where near the Rocky Road of cuckolding or the black raspberry chocolate chunk of BDSM, but with the right partner, okay it would have to be the perfect partner, I might take a small bowl and give those choices a try.


The new book is published!

‘Like She Owns Me’ was published last week on Smashwords and Kindle Direct Publishing! It was supposed to be ‘My Nympho T-Girl’ but I changed the name at the last minute for two reasons. I was kind of inspired by my last post here and my friend Anasheya has gone quiet and I couldn’t use the cover art they produced for the book. I really hope Anasheya is okay. If you read this Anasheya we all are missing you! Please at least let us know that you’re alright.

This whole writing thing is fun and frustrating. I really want to put out a good product and give a good value for the money someone spends. But when I look on the internet for books like mine I find that many are 5 to 7,000 words and selling for 2.99. That’s about the length of my typical short story and would take a lot less time produce. My story ‘Like She Owns Me’ is 40,000 words for 2.99. I’m sure anyone can do the math on that one. But in the end I’ve got a regular job to pay my bills and the money isn’t the driving force for doing this. Sure it would be great to be able to quit the day job and write from home, but I don’t see that happening.

I have found that there is one thing that I miss about the Literotica website. The feedback. The readers there are awesome about letting an author know that they appreciate their work. If you happen to be a Literotica reader thank you for every time you’ve ever left a comment or sent feedback on anyone’s story.

If you bought a copy of ‘Like She Owns Me’ and it led you here…Thank you! I appreciate your support!